How to Survive Sleep Deprivation and Be a Successful Parent.

970474_10201080480306490_1195714514_nI have no idea. Do you?

Seriously.

Most of us parents have had to deal with short or long term sleep deprivation during our parenting. Whether you have a newborn, a child with sleep issues or you just had to stay up until 2 finishing your novel, we have all been here. After years of off and on insomnia (my child sleeps, I don’t) I have yet to discover the secret.

But here’s what I HAVE discovered (or am constantly working on believing). Even when I am an awful mom with a short fuse, my child still loves me. I just love the viral video going around of the moms who doubt themselves and then see that they are SO amazing in the eyes of their child. They completely love us, so much! 

We are never going to be the mom we want to be. We cannot raise our children in a vacuum free of the unpredictable upsets of daily life. We all WANT to be kinder, more empathetic, have more patience etc; but then your own tired, out-of-control emotions override you and you see the worst parent you can be. You don’t want to wake at 5 and be a mother, you want sleep; you don’t want to read the pre-nap book for the 20th time, you want to go take a nap. Its okay, time to forgive yourself and move on. You’re doing your best and they see this. I’ve been loosing my temper with my son more (preggo hormones+little sleep=bad news!) and feeling absolutely dreadful about this. Last night he got mad at my husband, screamed and ran into his room. A minute later he came out and said “sorry yell daddy. ‘mere, hug”. So there’s the silver lining to my own sleep deprivation. Being grumpy with my son (and apologizing, of course) has shown him the model for being a human being. We make mistakes, we are accountable for our actions, we apologize and move on.

Well, I actually have learned some tricks; little ones that may not make me a perfect parent while super tired, but make things a tad less intense.

1. Drink water, lots of it!

2. Don’t over consume caffeine, it will only make you edgier.

3. Get outside, fresh air will do you good.

4. Don’t dwell on the negative. The more energy you spend fretting over how you are tired or messing up, the less energy you have to parent well.

5. Accept that you will not achieve much. Sit and relax and play with your kids. This may seem super tricky because most of us really want to get stuff done. But the fact is that stuff is not going to get done anyways, so let it go.

6. Lastly, HAVE FUN with your kids. (Here are 15 joyful tips on how to do so) Do silly things that make you all laugh. It will balance out the grumpiness your ids may feel from you and laughter is actually the best medicine.

So please, I would just LOVE to hear how YOU survive the sleep deprivation that comes with parenting. I’m still learning and as always, value your input. :)

 

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Intuition vs Information: Thoughts on The Parenting Method War

There is much debate about which parenting method is the ‘right’ one. It seems, at times, that I see wars going on all over the place; CIO vs. co-sleeping, Attachment parenting vs. Babywise, Day care vs. Stay at hom moms, etc. etc. etc. I’ve often thought that perhaps all of this debate is rather pointless. Perhaps all of this parenting advice is just helpful tools or even confirmations for us that we are doing the right thing for our children. We choose the philosophy that resonates with us the most and use that as our guide, and then we have these little people that join us in our world and get everything they need from our own individual styles as parents. They chose US as parents, and naturally we will give them everything they need to become the adults they are meant to be.

I chose a Waldorf/RIE method to follow for my parenting style and my profession. At the heart of Waldorf philosophy, the work we do is primarily of a spiritual nature. This could also be interpreted as intuition if you choose to see it that way. There are actually exercises and meditations we can do to stregthen this spiritual/intuitive quality in us as mothers. Some believe that we all have Spiritual helpers, or Angels, that help guide our way. As a woman who works with young children for my life’s work, I feel that this is so true for me. If I am actively working on my meditative/inner work practice, I am allowing myself to be open to divine intuition to help guide my way from day to day. I’m not thinking about how to work within a certain pre-determined method; I am listening to the moment. During a particularly challenging time, we can wait a few moment before we react and take a deep breath and the answer to the problem might be given to us.

Now, this is what I am experiencing in my work with children and it might be entirely different for everyone else, but the intuition is still there for each of us.  Whether you are following Angels and intuition or following a book, you are following your heart and doing exactly the right thing for YOUR children. Can you imagine a world where, instead of criticism and blame, we are surrounded by support and understanding? Can you imagine being out in public and not feeling self-conscious of your parenting but feeling empowered by the people around us? What are you thoughts on how to bring acceptance and trust for every mother and her own individual parenting method?